Alphecca

Mail Call

Needless to say, the editorial staff here at Alphecca International gets a pile -- piles in fact -- of letters. Here's one that just came in from someone we haven't heard from in a while...

Dear Jeff,

I know it's been quite some time since our previous correspondence but I want you to know I still consider you a dear friend.

I'm writing today to warn you --again-- that we are in a global warming emergency state and these storms are going to become more frequent, more intense. There could be more droughts, dust bowls. You know, it's amazing to hear these facts, I mean, the Andes have no ice caps on the mountains in winter. The glaciers are melting. I mean, for the United States not to be part of the Kyoto treaty is unforgivable.

Just because Kyoto would wreck the economies of the US, Britian, Germany, et al while recent industrial giants like China and India and Mexico would not have to reduce their pollutants at all doesn't mean that President ... I'm sorry, I suddenly felt a little faint for a moment. We all need to make sacrifices to prevent global warming and I for one will be glad to do my part by turning the air conditioning up to 70 degrees in my 20 room estate in Malibu Beach.

I'm also going to instruct my limo driver to turn off the engine while he waits for me when I'm shopping at Bloomingdale's or Bergdorf Goodman.

I also promise to only fly in my personal jet for really important things like picking up that caviar I really love that you can only find in France.

I hope you'll help me spread the word. As always, because I just know you're a great admirer of mine, I'm enclosing a photo of myself. I hope no one tampers with it as they did the other ones.

Very truly yours,

Babs