Alphecca

Here's something good about John Kerry: He's like the weather in New England. If you don't like his position on something, just wait a bit -- it will change.

Here's something else thats good about Kerry - He is on the campaign trail running for president and that makes him one less Democrat vote we need to worry about here in D.C.

Unfortunately, Countertop, he would be replaced with another Democrat.

Seriously, this is the only good thing I can think of about Kerry: He makes Bush look positively statesmanlike.

Somehow or other he got to be the front-runner for the Democrats, so somebody must like him, I guess, or at least tolerate him.

He isn't Santorum. Unfortunately, if he succeeds in taking away all of our guns, that will make it a lot easier for a Santorum to abolish all our other rights. Uh, oh! I guess that wasn't a nice thing, after all.

He's the ugliest candidate for President I ever recall seeing. If I were a man's man, I'd still be repulsed by him. I'd rather bugger Santorum's dog. So would, or so does, Santorum. Uh, oh! I said another not-nice thing!

He has very presidential hair.

And, in case you have not heard, he served in Vietnam.

Well, in spite of his eventually repudiating his involvement in the war and becoming a hippie, he did have the sack to actually go to Vietnam in the first place. That gets at least some respect in my book (the serving, not the hippie part). Otherwise, he might wind up behaving in a fiscally responsible manner *not* because he would plan it, but because if he won come November, he'd still have either a GOP house or razor thin majority. In other words, he wouldn't have the support to start giving away free shit, and we can now tell that the congressional GOP is better at fiscal discipline when the opposition holds the White House.

The best thing about John Kerry, that I can think of, is that he is not the President.

That might change, unfortunately, but it's true now.

I understand he bathes regularly and has been trained to not make messes on the floor.

Let me ask you this then, is there anything "libertarian" about any of his policies that appeals to you? He strikes me as just one more "controlling liberal" who wants to enact a ton of laws -- or extend them in the case of the "assault weapons ban" -- but doesn't have a single new initiative that would actually result in a smaller, less controlling government...

Granted, Bush isn't any better -- government spending has exploded under his watch -- granted some of it justified such as the war against terror...

In all seriousness, Jeff, the only 'policy' of his that sticks in my mind is his pledge to create 10 million jobs, which is ludicrous at best *and* at worst. I can't think of anything to make me want to vote for the man: He's a disgrace to the uniform he once wore (and wants to command), he changes his mind more than Paris Hilton changes shoes, he can't keep his stories straight, and he wants to leave America defensless (he won't send our troops anywhere w/o the OK of our "allies"). No, there's nothing there to make me want to vote for him.

Sadly, Andrew, I'm no longer impressed with his having served in Vietnam (though he seems to have served well). My understanding is that he was active in the anti-war movement before his service, but when his deferment ran out, he refused to refuse in order to keep his political future viable. That doesn't strike me as overly principled.

Now come on Jeff, don't be sarcastic! Kerry wears really colorful bike outfits, and I think his sense of color coordination could be a major benefit to the country. Then there's the little plastic daisy thingie on the zipper of his ski jacket. Did you forget that too?

My mom always said if you can't think of something nice to say about someone, don't say it!

Well, I said two nice things!

As Jesse Jackson says, we will remember! In November! I'll add:

"Don't let the summer be a bummer."

"Never too late to nominate!"