As with all giant news-gathering organizations, Alphecca receives a ton, -A Ton I tell you- of snail-mail. Today we received a veritable flood of letter. Why, here it is now:



Thank you very much for riting in.

All giant news gathering organizations such as Alphecca eventually face the threat of legal action. Last week I published a letter from a celebrity and this week I received this in the mail:



Needless to say, this letter from Barbra, Barbara, er... I mean her lawyer, has our legal department working overtime.

I might need some of the lawyer-bloggers out there to help me out...

As many of you know, large news disemination organizations such as Alphecca receive a veritable flood, a flood I tell you, of mail each day. One of the cuter mail clerks just delivered this letter to me:

Dear Mr. Soyer,

I know you have made numerous jokes about me and what you think is my limited intelligence. Hey, I enjoy a good laugh as much as the next air-head. Even if the snow on Mount Kilimanjaro is melting. And while I might think your sense of humor is rather juvenile, I just want you to know that there are no hard feelings on my part. And so I am enclosing this lovely publicity photo of myself for your pleasure.

Sincerely, Barbra Streisand

Thanks Babe ...er Babs.

Dear Mr. Soyer,

I was so surprised when you published that photo I sent you a couple of weeks ago. It seems as if someone had tampered with it. I'm so sorry; I've had a good long talk with my secretary. Anyway, I certainly want you to have a good picture of me to remember me by and build on our new friendship. So here's another one:

Sincerely, Barbra

Thanks Baboo ...er Babs.

Dear Mr. Soyer,

I just don't understand it! Twice in the past four weeks I've sent you lovely publicity photos of me and somehow they've been tampered with before reaching you. There must be some really evil people working for our Postal Service. And since we're now good friends, I certainly want you to have a photo of me that shows what a serious, deep-thinking individual I am. So here's another picture of me as I contemplate the snows melting off Kilimanjaro.

Sincerely, Barbra

Thanks BooBoo ...er Babs.