From the NY Post:

A hotel in tony Hudson, NY, has found a novel way to keep negative reviews off Yelp and other sites — fine any grousing guests.

The Union Street Guest House, near Catskills estates built by the Vanderbilts and Rockefellers, charges couples who book weddings at the venue $500 for every bad review posted online by their guests.

“Please know that despite the fact that wedding couples love Hudson and our inn, your friends and families may not,” reads an online policy. “If you have booked the inn for a wedding or other type of event . . . and given us a deposit of any kind . . . there will be a $500 fine that will be deducted from your deposit for every negative review . . . placed on any internet site by anyone in your party.”

Needless to say, that started a YELPalanche. Some of the (obviously fake) reviews are hilarious:

Caught crabs from a women I met at the reception. I think she was a caterer. 2 stars for the chicken Parmesan! But I think it was outsourced.

I’m posting this anonymously to avoid any issues buuuut you should know I have no regrets.

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CIGARETTE SMOKE, ROTTING CARCUS, SOILED SHEETS, ROACHES, a NIGHTMARE……..of course not about this establishment because I’ve never been here.
One star for fining people $500 for leaving you bad reviews.

Repay everyone you’ve fined and I will delete my review.

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How much do I get for a good review?

We were going to book our wedding here, but have reconsidered.

We are having a North Korean wedding for a more complete denial of our guests’ civil liberties.

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Everything about this hotel was great. Although, I forgot to give the bellhop a tip so they charged me $200. The staff was nice and polite and its a wonderful area.. but they did charge me $150 for wearing my sandals with socks, which I COMPLETELY understand. I was rushing and figured it wasn’t a big deal. Come to think of it I was charged for a lot of extras
- Ordering movies from my room. $15
- Food service. $25
- Being left handed. $300
- Speaking when not spoken to. $450
- Having a sensible chuckle. $150
and because I have a long name they charged me an extra $600 ’cause it took them longer to input my name into the computer.

Above all great hotel/service!

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If you’re looking for dilapidated lodging mixed with possible Borderline Personality Disorder, look no further:Adapted from the nightmare of an Asian man with a severe opium addiction in the 1800s, channeling the ghost of Leona Helmsley, New York’s hottest hotel is UNION STREET GUEST HOUSE! This place has everything: antedeluvian decor, North Korean oppression, a bi-polar general manager, the cackling of an elderly mad woman from the lobby, service staff with PTSD and a Catsextet.You know, it’s one of those things where six cats are dressed up in tuxes and repeatedly belt out Hotel California.So stop on in. The provided drinking game is finish your drink when a new customer is charged $500 for exercising their constitutional rights to free speech on Yelp!

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My girlfriend and I stayed here over the weekend. They limited us to one poop per day or we were to be charged an “Excess Waste Fee” of $200. Had to put a cork in my ass just to save ourselves a couple Benjamins.

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This place literally smells. There was an upper decker left in my room’s toilet. The terrible stench of rotting meat in the atrium got worse throughout the night and eventually made it up the stairs, to my room, and was strong enough to overpower the lingering oder left from the upper decker.

The food sucked. Most of it is microwaved I imagine.
Their sheets gave me crabs and the manager muttered something anti-Semitic as I walked by.

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The beds were very comfortable which is why I had to take pain killers for back pain the next morning. The breakfast was delicious and the hours of vomiting I experienced for the rest of the day must be unrelated. The hall was double booked for my wedding and a white supremacist rally, which added character. So let it be known that I have no complaints and request my full deposit back, minus the cleaning fee for the mess I left in the restroom from the not-food poisoning.

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was a guest at a wedding here and I had a GREAT time!

They really do stick to their vintage theme so it feels like you’re visiting the early 20th century when you stay here. The vintage room was missing a portion of one wall! Vintage cockroaches were doing the Charleston all across the ceiling of the bathroom! The vintage plumbing had only two settings - Off and Cold (how DID people survive back in those days?)

It was fantastic to live like my ancestors. I felt like I was living in a vintage apartment in a vintage ghetto in France at the end of WWII.

I want to give this hotel 4 stars because the breakfast of reheated Eggo waffles and Kool Aid is just too modern - I won’t do that though because they would fine the wedding party $500. Great job otherwise!

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First, the bedbugs. Then, the unknown gooey substance that covered the bedding. Screeching crack whores and gunfire kept me awake all night. The tip of my nose was gnawed off by a rat. To top it all off, I caught gonnorrhea from the toilet seat.

It only got worse from there.

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Had my wedding here, and they required a human sacrifice? I objected, but it was clearly printed in size 1 font in a lost dialect of Sumerian at the bottom of the agreement. I should have twigged to the likely problems when they made me sign in blood.

Luckily, the wife’s side of the family has excess so we were able to choose some non-gift-bringers to ‘appease that which crawls in the darkness’. The ceremony was very poorly lit, which could be fixed by adding some non-torch-based lighting.

The wedding ceremony went very well, I’m told. i was somewhat distracted by my beautiful wife and the tentacled horror babbling in my ear. And it may be gauche to mention this, but the priest they used reeked of offal and something offendingly reminiscent of the sea.

Unfortunately, things soon went downhill as my wife was dragged off to be chained to a rock in the basement. Also, I didn’t bring my own chains, so they charged me $350 for the ones they used, and it looked like they weren’t even new.

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I had the feeling I was being watched the whole time during my stay, then the creep at the front desk stabbed me to death while I was in the shower. He did make me a tasty sandwich though. Five stars!

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I walk into the place and it’s decorated like Germany during WW2. Hitler posters everywhere. “Vertrauen nicht juden” written on a banner above the front desk.

The bell hop throws his hand out in a forward salute and clicks his heels. I ask for the women and he presses a little buzzer under the desk. They bring out women in chains. I felt like I was probably in the wrong place. The clerk then tells me, “ANYTHING YOU WANT! NO CHARGE, MEIN FUROR”.

I know, I was confused too.

Anyway, long story short. It turns out I was Adolf Hitler and they were pretty stoked to see me walk in. I also ended up with VD from some of those women. All in all my stay wasn’t too bad, but I gave them 1 star because they used powered egg instead of the real thing. Savages.

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Blood, urine and/or semen everywhere in room 318, just off the elevators. Also some idiots were playing the theme from “Girls Gone Wild” super loud and drinking Cosmopolitans all night. Horrible place.

Now, the owners are claiming that it was all a joke inserted on their website that they forgot to take down for two years. Good one!

Related: Restaurant owner insults gun owners… Remember that YELPalanche?