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HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 19 Sep 2014 08:16 am

That would be from WLNS News 6:

Man Robs Store With Banana, Peels Away On Bicycle

We’ve got to ban assault bananas:

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 10 Sep 2014 06:17 am

Here’s the headline from Fox News NY: Gun control fears boost enrollment at Manhattan’s only commercial gun range.

Little late for that, isn’t it?

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 28 Aug 2014 05:32 am

You know you’re getting old when tech headlines read like a foreign language: Motorola ‘Shamu’ makes appearance on AnTuTu as Google Nexus X

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 29 Jan 2014 02:45 am

From KRMG Radio:

Flatulent Cows Cause Barn Explosion

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 12 Dec 2013 04:18 pm

From KERA TV News: Gun Regulation Groups Give Texas Lawmakers An “F.” And Texas citizens thank them for it!

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 12 Dec 2013 04:06 pm

Here’s the headline from WTXL TV in Florida: Florida man jailed after losing $100 in card game. Now, I know that playing poker for money in some places is against the law, but is THAT the reason the guy is in the slammer? The first paragraph clarifies things:

The loser of a card game is in jail after deputies say he tried to rob and shoot the man who had just won $100.

Ah, Bach!

Related: San Jose bingo game invaded by robber. Maybe gamblers should stick to Las Vegas. Oh, wait!

Makes all the more case for allowing online gambling. It’s hard to believe that New Jersey is leading the way in THAT.

Headlines and TechnologyJeff Soyer on 11 Dec 2013 07:43 am

That would be over at Wired: How These 5 Dirtbags Radically Advanced Your Digital Rights. They’re thugs, criminals, what-have-you, but their crimes led to greater protections of your rights.

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 08 Oct 2013 05:32 pm

From USA Today: Poll: Voters prefer hemorrhoids over Congress

Well yeah; you can get rid of hemorrhoids.

From the article:

Voters say they have a higher opinion of hemorrhoids than Congress, by 53% to 31%. More than seven in 10 voters say they view jury duty more favorably than Congress, which musters only 18% support in that comparison. Even toenail fungus rates 3 percentage points higher Congress.

Does anything rate lower than Congress? Funny you should (in a rather oblique way) ask:

Some bold-faced names making headlines should take note, however. The poll says voters prefer Congress over Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan, Vladimir Putin and Anthony Weiner.

I conducted an informal poll of the cats, spiders, and — now that it’s getting colder outside — the ladybugs and mice creeping into the house. They rate Obama lower than whale-poop at the bottom of the ocean.

Vaguely related: CNN poll shows Dems and Obama getting plenty of blame, too, for the government “slim down.” Apparently, not all of the peasants are buying into the MSM’s campaign for King Stompy-Foot.

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 31 Aug 2013 03:01 am

From the Times Leader (PA): Pa. man shot due to boxers, files legal briefs.

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 29 Aug 2013 05:18 pm

Here’s the headline: Man enters Hamilton bank with gun, demands money.

Well, I realize that might be unusual; many armed thugs entering banks demand lupines.*

But, couldn’t the lede have simply said, “Bank Robbed?”

*Yeah, that’s the American spelling. Elsewhere, it’s “Lupins.” And, I’m showing my age in remembering the ancient Monty Python skit.

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 25 Jul 2013 05:38 am

Another helpful headline:

Accidental Inhalation of Blow-Gun Darts Poses Risks

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 25 Jul 2013 05:33 am

From the Register:

Man who pulled gun during chess game surrenders to robot cop

And no, Bobby Fischer wasn’t involved. Neither was R. Daneel Olivaw.

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 23 May 2013 08:06 am

The Headline: Rusty Gun Found in Sewer Basin.

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 07 May 2013 01:39 pm

Planned to drive Mayor Michael Blowhard nuts:

Forget gun buybacks — now get ready for a gun giveaway.

The man behind an effort to put free shotguns in the hands of homeowners says he’ll dole them out in the Big Apple by the end of the year — and the lawmen may not be able to stop him.

“We’re coming — and we’re going to get shotguns into the hands of responsible citizens,” said Kyle Coplen, who founded the nonprofit the Armed Citizen Project in January.

This was tried in Arizona a while ago. Don’t know if it ever came off.

I’d love to hear what Bloomberg and NYPD top-cop Kelly have to say when they hear about it.

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 30 Apr 2013 06:21 am

From the Journal Gazette:

Elkhart County Sheriff Bradley Rogers told about 200 people, many of whom held signs and carried firearms during Sunday’s rally, that he pledges to oppose all future gun legislation and not impose those measures on the community he serves.

“I will not allow gun confiscation in my county and I will not enforce any additional anti-gun laws,” he said to loud applause at the rally outside South Bend’s Morris Performing Art Center.

Good for him and Elkhart County. Let’s hope he can keep his job next election.

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 22 Apr 2013 08:35 am

From the Boston Herald:

Police: Bomb suspects didn’t have gun permit.

A Massachusetts police official say the brothers suspected of bombing the Boston Marathon before having shootouts with authorities didn’t have gun permits.

Cambridge Police Commissioner Robert Haas tells The Associated Press in an interview Sunday that neither Tamerlan Tsarnaev nor his brother Dzhokhar had permission to carry firearms.

Like that would have made any difference to these punks? Gee, did they have permits to carry around explosives?

You can pass all the gun control laws in the world and criminals and terrorists will not care and not obey them. Therein lays the fallacy of gun control laws that only effect the law abiding.

From The Hill, How’s this for logic:

The news that the suspects were not authorized to own firearms will likely add fuel to calls for tougher gun laws – an issue that was put on the back-burner last week after the Senate blocked the central elements of a gun-control package backed by President Obama.

So, the bombers ignored Massachusetts’ strict gun laws. Therefore, we need to pass more gun laws for them to ignore. Got it!

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 28 Mar 2013 05:46 am

From Live Science: Blind Cavefish Also Hard of Hearing.

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 26 Mar 2013 06:09 am

A European television personality was arrested (for the second time) for being in possession of high-heels like this:

From TVNC News:

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson was arrested at an airport for carrying gun-shaped shoes.

The television personality was detained at Zurich Airport in Switzerland as she tried to return to London following a visit to her holiday home in Klosters, when her designer Chanel sandals - which boast 90mm heels shaped like pistols - ignited a red flag at airport security.

She tweeted about the incident and tweeted that photo.

While I have absolutely no idea who she is, I think the shoes are quite stylish.

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 12 Mar 2013 05:00 am

The web person at radio station KTTS in Missouri obviously didn’t read the story they were creating a headline for:

Anti-Gun Bill Making Its Way Through Missouri House

A measure that is working its way through the Missouri legislature would make any new federal law banning or restricting semi-automatic firearms unenforceable.

Fortunately, the story itself is the correct line.

HeadlinesJeff Soyer on 07 Feb 2013 04:38 am
Gun found in panties of bikie Dylan Jessen’s ex girlfriend, court hears.

-Herald Sun (Australia)

I guess the ‘antis’ are right; guns are compensation for lack of something else.

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